7 Strategic Care Groups to give hope!

Dear New Hope,

“She gave me hope.” That’s what John said in a meeting about the opioid crisis. His family was in chaos. His situation was hopeless. But through an encounter with a church ministry, one woman stood in his path, spoke life, and John had hope for the first time. Hope carried John through his season of crisis.

How do you handle crisis or tragedy? How has divorce affected you and your children? How has the opioid crisis destroyed the peace of your home? How has addictive behavior influenced your family or hurt your spouse? New Hope has strategically deployed 7 Care Ministries this fall, seeking to give hope to people who are facing times of crisis.

When crisis hits, one of the most common reactions is that we clam up or suppress our emotions. Crisis makes us feel vulnerable and alone, causing us to shut down emotionally or bury our feelings beneath the rubble of chaos. In an August 2018 Wall Street Journal (WSJ) article entitled “Moving Beyond the Pain of Loss,” Elizabeth Bernstein made some critical points, whether the loss is divorce, death, addiction, or betrayal.  Some of the most quotable points:

• “Often people try to suppress their feelings or close themselves off to situations that could lead to loss again. That doesn’t work.” In other words, we shut down emotionally to self-protect.
• “Some losses we can’t prevent: A lover decides we are no longer the special one. A loved one dies. Some are deliberate…We know that which is missing won’t come back. And it is the combination of this pain and the seeming inability to resolve it that makes loss so difficult.” In other words, we can’t control the loss and we can’t control the future. So we feel hopeless to do anything.
• “After the loss of a betrayal or a divorce, we may try to protect ourselves, by refusing to open up and be vulnerable again.” We clam up and bury our emotions because it is too painful to be honest.

Don’t Clam Up!  Connect Up!

In another WSJ article entitled “Don’t Clam Up When Life Brings You Down,” author Colin Fleming writes about an encounter he had with a bartender. Colin was at a “low point of his life” and decided to go to a bar where he happened upon this bartender. Over the course of their conversation, it became evident that both Colin and the bartender were facing difficult circumstances in life and they needed someone who understood to give them hope. Colin wrote several key things:

• “I assumed he was doing better than I was, so when we started talking, I scarcely went into my troubles.” This is common. We assume we are the only basket cases and everyone else has it together.
• “Honesty can be disarming.” Once Colin and the bartender were honest, the barriers came down and they connected. No, not in a Christian community. But they connected in a friendship of respect and candor which Colin says “made it easier for me to share my own problems.” That’s why we need care ministries…safe environments where honesty is disarming.
• “We close ourselves off to others. We fear looking weak, so we flash out an emotional Morse code: ‘All is well, all is well’.” The reason we suppress our pain during times of crisis is that we want to put on the mask that we really are survivors: we really are strong. Sadly, we are slowly dying on the inside.

Colin’s article ends with this exhortation: “Just open your mouth and say the thing you’ve been thinking…You can see it as daring to take a risk, but it’s really good-natured, honest conversation. I call it connection: the only chance in this world each of us has to be a real person.” Connection! Even in an article not written from a biblical perspective, this hits on the human desire for connection.

Connection in Care Groups

For these reasons, in addition to the 22 Home Groups and 22 Life Stage Groups, New Hope is offering 7 Care Groups this fall for the purpose of giving people hope in the midst of their pain. They are:

• Divorce Care – Divorce is one of life‘s most painful experiences. This group is designed to walk alongside you during the pain. It is a chance to get hope, healing, and direction for the future from a biblical perspective.
• Divorce Care for Kids – Your kids probably feel scared, sad and confused after your divorce. Divorce Care for Kids helps them process those feelings and gives them tools to communicate better with you. The weekly session topics help your children learn that God’s love strengthens them and helps them turn their anger to joy. This group is designed for kids 5-12 years of age.
• Families Affected by Opioids – The use of opioids is a growing epidemic in our culture, creating major turmoil in families. Where do parents go for help? This group of peer support is a perfect place to share struggles, gain hope, and get wisdom for facing the future from people who have walked the same road.
• GriefShare – GriefShare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone. It hurts to lose someone. Find help at GriefShare.
• Men’s Freedom from Addiction – Addiction comes in many different forms whether it be chemical, sexual, alcohol, or others. At its core are common issues which create addictive behavior. This small group for men is designed to help men walk in freedom from addiction.
• Women’s Hope for Healing – The deceit of addictions and abuse women encounter in life can deceive and distort the view of themselves and their relationships, causing them to feel angry, depressed, confused, numb, lost, and completely hopeless. Are you tired of reliving the pain and lies of past and present relationships? You are not alone! Learn to find the support you need; grieve the loss of betrayal; focus on your own spiritual growth, forgiveness, and freedom; discover a new relationship and life with Jesus Christ;  know and feel His unending LOVE and GRACE; TRUST in Him fully; and see HOPE in the hopeless.
• AA – Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who have had a drinking problem. There are no age requirements, open to all who want to do something about their drinking problem.

In addition to these, we are also working with leadership teams about the possibility of launching two more care ministries in the near future:

• Support for Victims of Sexual Abuse
• Support for Families Affected by Suicide

As a church of “Messes to Miracles,” we are proactively taking steps to enter into the messy places of life so we can witness the miraculous transformation of Jesus Christ.

Pray for these groups. And if you are in a season of crisis right now, connect up with one of these ministries next week!

You are loved,
Craig Trierweiler