When was the last time you read a biblical perspective on sexual fantasy? I realize that bringing up the issue is bound to make some of you nervous and others blush; it even has the potential to offend if not handled carefully.  My goal is simple: I want to present a biblical framework for dealing with a very common human experience.

I would never have chosen to write on the topic of sexual fantasy had it not been for a recent news article by Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal called “What our Fantasies Reveal.”  While not written from a biblical perspective, it did give incredible insight into the realm of the human mind.  Bernstein drew attention to a study done by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, who performed one of the most comprehensive research projects in history on this subject.  I’ll skip past all the face-blushing, eye-popping research and draw attention to one finding that prompted Bernstein to compose this article.  Out of the 4,000 Americans questioned in this study, ranging from ages 18 to 87, “almost everyone who answered Dr. Lehmiller’s survey – 97% of participants – said they have sexual fantasies, which he defines as a mental picture you have while awake that arouses you.  The vast majority said they had them frequently.”  97%!  And my guess is that the 97% who admitted it think the other 3% are lying.

That statistic should make you pause and reflect, as it did me.  Even if that number does not solely represent a Christian population, it most certainly represents the American population, of which we are a part.  It caused me to wonder: How widespread is sexual fantasy among believers?  What about people at our church?  What biblical perspective could we apply to these fantasies?  Is there anything in Scripture that could provide parameters and filters for the 97% who say they regularly have mental images floating about in their mind? That is the purpose of this article.

Rather than approach the topic of sexual fantasy through ‘negative’ passages (such as fleeing from temptation or not indulging in sexual immorality, etc.,) I thought we could instead apply a ‘positive’ passage that should govern the mental images we entertain. By negative and positive, I don’t mean one is better than the other.  I simply mean that some Scriptures command from a negative “don’t do this” angle, while others from a positive “do this” perspective.

One Biblical Passage with Eight Fantasy Filters for the Mind

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

This verse offers eight guidelines that serve as a biblical filter for sexual fantasy. If anything in the realm of fantasy does not pass this filter test, then wisdom says to avoid it.  If it does fall within these eight biblical parameters, then it is permitted.

The mind is a fascinating creation of God, able to think, reason, dream, meditate, and draw up pictures that are either positive or negative.  When it comes to the mind, think of these eight descriptions as a filter or a cheesecloth.  If anything passes through the cheesecloth of these eight characteristics, then it is something we can “think about,” which literally means “to take inventory.”

• True – that which is not concealing or deceptive.
• Honorable – that which is honest or reverent.
• Just – that which is innocent or holy.
• Pure – that which is clean, innocent, or chaste.
• Lovely – that which is acceptable and friendly.
• Commendable – that which is reputable or of good report.
• Excellence – that which is virtuous.
• Worthy of praise – that which we applaud or rejoice in.

As we consider the issue of sexual fantasy, it quickly becomes evident that there are many mental images that would not pass the filter of eight.  Even a minimal understanding of Scripture together with the internal testimony of the Holy Spirit make clear the principles that show what is not profitable for the mind to take inventory.

However, before we say, “Don’t fantasize,” it has caused me to wonder: Is there a biblical framework that could redeem sexual fantasy and actually make it appropriate?  Then it occurred to me that God purposed an entire book of the Bible to record the emergence of sexual desire between two lovers as they approach their wedding night.

Song of Solomon is a book of passion, desire, fantasy, and God-sanctioned sexuality that passes Paul’s filter of eight.  The passionate pursuit of these two lovers is “true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent and worthy of praise.”  Reading of the intensity of their sexual desire can make teenagers giggle and elderly folks blush.  The descriptive phrases Solomon uses of his love’s body and the longing she has for his affection rattle the senses.  In other words, Song of Solomon is a book that records on paper what the mind has been desiring.  These are things Solomon and his young lover are longing to pursue.  And the very fact that this book is in the Bible affirms that God takes great delight in this type of desire.

Yet, in the midst of this passionate description of mental images, Solomon warns three times “that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (2:7, 3:5, 8:4).  In other words, there is a type of sexual desire that is good, but it should also be held in check “until the time is right” (NLT).  The beauty of his writing demonstrates that there is a type of passion, desire, and fantasy that God indeed blesses when it is held within the biblical parameters of sexuality.

So, to the 97% of Americans who say they frequently have mental images of sexual fantasy, I encourage you with the following:

• Recognize that God is the author of passion and sexual desire.
• Read Song of Solomon and take inventory of the goodness of God-glorifying sexuality.
• Even though humans often pervert what God intends as good, this does not mean that all sexual desire or fantasy is improper.
• For those who are married, enjoy one another. In the words of Solomon: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” Proverbs 5:18-19
• For the unmarried, know that sexual desire is planted within us by our Creator who gives good gifts. Whatever our mind meditates upon, may we apply the Philippians 4:8 test as a filter to govern our thoughts.

May the Lord’s grace be evident upon our reflections and thoughts. May His mercy forgive us where we have erred.  May His wisdom guide us as we navigate the temptations of this life.  And may God redeem our sexual fantasies so that our passions and desires are governed by His word.

You are loved.

Craig Trierweiler